Broken Hearts
by Bloody Autumn
Summary: Gokudera stands in front of a door, his door, their door. But he doesn’t open it, doesn’t walk in, because he’s afraid of what will happen if he does. 1859, 8059
1. Misery

Broken Hearts

Gokudera stands in front of a door, _his_ door, _their_ door. But he doesn't open it, doesn't walk in, because he's afraid of what will happen if he does. He feels like shit, he feels many things right now;

Regret.

Anger.

Hollow.

_Sick._

The list could go forever. And he knows that he _looks_ like shit, he knows that his eyes are red for crying so _fucking_ long, He knows that his hair looks like it'd just been blown with some of his dynamites. He knew that he fucking smelled like _him._

Gokudera breathed unsteadily and rested his forehead against the cold door. _God,_ his head was hurting so fucking much that he thought it would explode. He hasn't eaten anything since morning, and because of that his stomach has been growling almost non-stop for _hours._ But Gokudera wasn't hungry, far from that actually. He was almost sure if he would eat, everything would just come up right away. On top of it all he was tired, so freaking tired that he could just barely keep his eyes open.

After a few moments of trying to calm down, Gokudera pushed himself of off the door and searched his keys. With a shaking hand he pushed the right key in the lock and _slowly_ reached to open the door. Gokudera held his breath as the door opened with a creak. His heart was racing so hard that he could hear it inside his head. After minute passed and nothing seemed to happen, Gokudera let out a relieved sigh and took a step in the apartment.

He tossed the keys to a little table that he knew was there, he didn't need lights to know where everything was. Shoes were thrown somewhere and jacket was dropped to the floor. Then Gokudera walked to the bathroom turning the lights on, grimacing little to the sudden brightness. Within few steps he reached the bath and turned the water on. He stared at the wall next to him while waiting for the bath to fill.

Maybe he shouldn't have come home after all… No, this isn't his home. It's Hibaris. Just like everything else in here is his. Only things that Gokudera did have were a closet for his clothes, two mugs and few casual things here and there. In fact he didn't even have a bed; he only had one side of it, sometimes not even that. Hibari had once actually dared to throw him of off the bed and said that he _can_ sleep in the couch. And the bastard didn't even give a freaking pillow to him! Though in the morning he had apologised, naturally, Gokudera had been too angry to care.

Gokudera turned his attention to the bath and yelped as he noticed that the water was almost flowing over the edge. With one hasty movement he turned the water off and got to his feet. Gokudera stopped when he opened the first button of his shirt. He didn't want to take his clothes off. He didn't want to see what was under them. He didn't want to see the... _marks_.

But he had to; he didn't have any other option. With two shaking hands he opened the rest of the buttons and dropped the shirt on the floor. Then he opened his pants and let them fall to the floor. His boxers and socks weren't far behind.

Slowly Gokudera got in the bath, spilling some water to the floor while doing so. He knew if he didn't clean it up before Hibari got home he would be in trouble. But that certainly didn't bother him right now. It can be cleaned when he gets of off the bath.

Moaning lightly at the feel off hot water, he closes his eyes and let all his muscles relax. When he opened his eyes and looked down on himself, breath caught in his throat. There were kiss marks _everywhere._ Oh God. Why did this have to happen? How did this happen? He knew the answers but didn't want to remember. He just wanted to-

Blinking Gokudera brought his hand to his face and touched something wet on his cheek. He was crying. Again. He buried his face to his hands and tried to stop the tears that were already dropping to the water. It hurt so fucking much. Too much.

--

Okay that was first chapter of this story, I know it's short but when I have checked the rest of the story I will upload this chapter again, just a bit longer. Ah, and I hate the story name ;/

So what did you think? Seriously, I'm terrified right now, about thinking what you will think of this.. thing xD (Oh God.. please try to bear with my english xD) Really tell me what you think

So back to the story.. Hmm.. well this is going to be 1859 fic with 8059 showing here and there :D Or not. Umm.. Yeah they're about twenty years old in this (I think..) And I'm going to warn that there will be lots of swearing (blame Gokudera not me xD) and blood.. and.. well you'll just have to see for yourselves :D

Till next time, Arrivederci


	2. Nightly Homecoming

Hibari was past irritated. He was tempted to just bite every living creature in the world to death, and there were many reasons for that.

First of all he had been on a mission for four days. In first day he had had to find a certain man that was working as a spy for Vongola. He had spent almost five hours for searching the man and was about to just forget it when the said man comes out of nowhere and almost crashes in to him. Needless to say he was furious.

The next day he had to wake up early (too early when considered the amount of sleep he had gotten) and meet the man in some crowded place that was too noisy. After spending almost twenty minutes in there he was more than willing to sprint outside in the cold weather. Then he had had about an hour before the meeting with some idiotic Boss of some Family with full of herbivores that were messing around. That had been easily taken care of, thanks to the Boss understanding nature. Then he had had about three hours of his own time, which went by sleeping.

After his little nap Hibari had few punishments to do, nothing big really, just some guys who hadn't learnt their place. Those done he had to chance his clothes and go to some fancy restaurant to meet a woman from rival Family. After an hour the said woman was drunk and trying to _hit_ him. The _gentleman_ Hibari was he waited for the woman to pass out so he could leave the money on the table and depart. Rest of the day had been going through some documents he had gotten from the man he met in the morning.

Third day he luckily didn't have anything scheduled till afternoon so he had been able to sleep a little more than usual. He had few meetings along the day, nothing important just same boring herbivore-gathering. In evening he had to deliver an envelope to other Family, which of course was almost on the other end of the town. Then he had come back after few hours and gotten only half an hour to get ready before an assassination job. The thing had just a little problem; the one he was supposed to kill was thirty meters away from him, surrounded with people. In the end he had waited almost two hours before the man was alone.

In fourth day he had to wake early again for a meeting. After that he slept an hour before heading for another meeting that was two hours long. Then he had four hours to go through documents that were from two meetings. After that he had again a meeting, this time with Boss that apparently had secret information for Vongola. His plane had been forty minutes late and after flying three hours he had to go to the Vongola mansion to leave a freaking report before he could go home. Home hadn't sounded ever so good, after four days of crowds, meetings and other things he needed some peace.

And right now, when he finally had gotten to his apartment door, his keys were missing. There was a dead silence for a minute or so before Hibari counted to ten and sighed. Okay he could just bite the door out of his way, but thinking about what Hayato had said the last time he had done that - "If you destroy that fucking door one more time, I swear, you're going to put it back yourself! - Somehow Hibari just knew that he would have to do it. Well maybe not, it's not like he would really ever do it (but the door back or buy a new one) but right now he didn't even want to think what would happen if he decided to destroy the stupid thing that was preventing him from getting inside.

So that left him whit two options; Search the key from somewhere of his bag or suitcase, or knock and get yelled at. Hibari choose the second one.

He knocked and waited. He knocked second time. And third. And fourth. Just when he decides to search the key, door opens slowly. Hibari found himself face to face with very tired looking Hayato, no, more like exhausted. Judging by his clothes – A black t-shirt and grey loose pants – Hibari probably had woken him up. Yeah, he was definitely going to get yelled at.

After staring each other for a while Hibari decides to apologise but before he could open his mouth Hayato turned and started to scramble back into their bedroom. Hibari blinked, twice, no yelling? Not a single "fuck"? Not... Nothing. Hayato must've been VERY tired- no wait, he was even crankier when he was tired, mornings had proved that.

Shaking his head Hibari stepped inside and shut the door with a soft click before putting his bag down and heading to the kitchen. There he put his suitcase on the table and decided to get something to eat, opening the refrigerator he grumbled after noticing that there were nothing he could eat. Yawning loudly he walked to the bedroom. Tomorrow he doesn't have anything so he can sleep as long as he wants. Usually he would start working right away when he got home from some "business trip". Thought Hibari really couldn't argue about spending a holiday, he probably would never admit it to anyone but he really was in need of a holiday.

He got under the sheets after changing for something more comfortable and glanced at Hayato who currently lay at his side so that Hibari was facing his back. Without second thought he reached to pull his husband against his chest. Hayato tensed but didn't say anything or resist so Hibari just wrapped his arms even tighter around him and closed his eyes while there were a smile creeping along his lips. Tomorrow he would greet Hayato properly.

--

Okay I was lazy and just uploaded this as second chapter.. But that's not a bad thing.. Right? xD I hate this chapter ;/ Ohgay so this was from Hibari's POV (kinda) and it's probably very OOC, seriously I can't write him like.. that way that he wouldn't be OOC :D So what do you think of this? Did you like it? Or not? Tell me if there's something I can do better, tips would be very appreciated too. Oh and there might be some mistakes.. Cause my English is what it is :D

In the next chapter there isn't much 1859, there will be other people though.. Like Tsuna :D and maybe Ryohei.. I don't know for sure myself xD But one thing is for sure.. and that is.. Nah you'll just have to wait for the next chapter :D

Adiós


	3. Exhaustion

Hayato got up after silencing the clock before it even alarmed. He rubbed his eyes and walked to the wardrobe with his legs barely holding him upright. He'd only got about two hours of sleep, if even that and it didn't help at all that he was already exhausted before he went to sleep, he could almost feel the headache coming. Like always, Hayato pulled out black pants, red shirt and a black jacket of the wardrobe, with few accessories along the way.

He glanced at the bed and to his surprise Hibari was sleeping, or at least pretending to. With a frown he turned back to the wardrobe and started to dress up, it was better this way, he wouldn't have to talk to him. He could hardly even look at him. Last night when Hayato had woken up and found Hibari behind the door, he was about to start crying. And he wasn't any better of now.

After dressing up he shared one last glance to the bed and walked to the kitchen, only to realise that there wasn't anything to eat. He was supposed to go shopping yesterday… Sighing he moved to the hallway and put on his shoes and jacket, he paused in the middle of reaching for his suitcase, it wasn't there. Rolling around the room and searching for it he froze in the realisation of where it was.

He had forgotten it to Yamamoto's place. Great, just fucking great. He definitely wasn't going to go near him in anytime soon. So he decided to just tell Tenth that he had forgotten it to that idiots place... And he wasn't going to go and get it himself.

He turned of the lights and grabbed his wallet before heading out. Somehow he just knew that this day would turn to be hellish.

* * *

"Good morning Gokudera!" Tsuna happily greeted his right hand man who came in through the double doors that lead to his office.

Gokudera winced at the voice, why it had to be so loud. "Ah.. Good morning Tenth" he said smiling and walked in front of the table where Tsuna was reading some reports and sat down in a comfortable brown chair. He waited patiently at his Boss to finish what he was doing before saying anything that would disturb him.

"Hibari-san came back from that trip yesterday, I didn't get to see him because I had that meeting with Liviano Boss. How is he?" Tsuna asked without looking up from the report he was reading, which he instantly tossed in the already overflowing bin. Seriously, if everyone of his Family would knew what people sends to him everyday, they would probably be shaken for the rest of their lives. Tsuna is kind of used to it already; he doesn't even try to figure out what the other Bosses or their subordinates are thinking, or if they are even thinking.

"He seemed to be slightly tired, He didn't even wake up when I got up" Gokudera said after a while of thinking about what he should say that wouldn't wake any suspicions. He decided to change the subject before Tenth could start asking any more questions about Hibari or him. "I forgot my suitcase to Yamamoto's place yesterday…I was thinking if... If you could tell him to bring it to my office" Nervously looking at Tsuna he wished that he hadn't sounded too uncertain.

Tsuna blinked and lifted his face to look straight at Gokudera. "Sure, I can tell him. But can't you do it yourself? I mean it's not a big deal, but…" He was somewhat confused, because never, never in his life had Gokudera asked him anything, except if it was really something so serious that the Storm Guardian couldn't do it himself (and that happened almost NEVER). But now, just a moment ago he had asked Tsuna to mention Yamamoto about his suitcase… "Did something happen?" He furrowed his brows just little noticing how Gokudera winced at the question.

"Umm.. We.. kind of got into fight and-" Gokudera closed his mouth as Tsuna sighed and he was sure that Tenth would start to lecture about him being the adult and not to care about what Yamamoto says, cause really the Rain Guardian can sometimes get into everyone's nerves when pressed hard enough. Gokudera blinked when nothing was to be heard from the Boss. "It's nothing big, but I just need little space for a few days, if that is okay" He said and inwardly winced at lying for Tenth, especially when he knew that Tsuna was going to see right through it.

Tsuna was observing his right hand man for a while before deciding that if it was something he couldn't even tell to his own Boss it was something that he wished to think out himself. "Fine I will ask him to bring it to your office" He said and picked a new report from the few meters tall pile of reports and other things, as meeting requests and such. He heard Gokudera sigh and turned his eyes back to him, freezing him in place. "But if you can't patch things up with him I will have to interfere" Tsuna stated with his eyes piercing through the Storm Guardian.

"Don't worry Tenth, I will definitely get things fixed" Gokudera said smiling, but inside he was broadly crying, he has to do something before Tenth finds out about _them_. Getting to his feet Gokudera turned to leave but was stopped by Tsuna's voice.

"Hayato. Don't wear yourself out" Tsuna said with a hint of worry in his voice as Gokudera seemed to be having hard time just staying upright. He heard Gokudera mumbling about not getting enough sleep because of a certain bastard, and of course Tsuna blushed after thinking exactly why Gokudera couldn't walk straight. "Oh. Umm… I will send you a message when Yamamoto gets here" He said hurriedly and waved at his right hand man.

Gokudera stared a while at his Boss before turning sharply, nearly falling over and stumbled out of the doors, as Tsuna's laughing could be heard from the room. After he had closed the doors and ran around the corner he leaned on the wall and breathed out heavily, if this intends to go on he will surely pass out before the end of the day. Taking one last long breath Gokudera pushed himself of the wall and headed to his office while trying hard not to think about Hibari, or that baseball-idiot. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

"…And that's why- Are you listening to me?" Gokudera blinked and stared at a woman who was standing in front of him and glaring at him for some reason. Oh right she brought the report of last week's discovery about something that was related in... Something. "Did you hear anything I said?" She said and crossed her arms while Gokudera tried hard to think what the woman had been telling him for the last five minutes.

"Leave the report on the table, I will read it when I have the time" He said and waved his hand towards the woman who was currently turning very pissed. "Get out. I have things to do." Gokudera growled and glanced up to the woman who haven't moved an inch and was still holding the piece of paper. "Now please" He said nicely with an obviously fake smile, which didn't seem to be working at all. "Look, I really don't want to hear your bitching right now and I should be working, but everyone barges in here every fucking five minutes and rants about something completely useless or something that has nothing do to with me" Gokudera raged and glared at the woman, who was looking red right now.

"What ever" The woman snorted and tossed the papers towards Gokudera's table before heading to the door. "Next time I won't bother searching anything since you don't even listen to my report that has taken a week and three nights!" She shouted and slammed the door shut causing one of the few pictures in the wall to drop on the floor. Gokudera cursed and shut his eyes; his head was already in the point of breaking into two without someone screaming! He grabbed a little bottle from his table and opened it. He froze after seeing that it was empty, cursing he threw the bottle in the other end of the room and dropped his face to his hands, how the hell he was supposed to do anything without painkillers. He couldn't even think straight anymore, the pain was starting really to get into him.

Exhaling slowly Gokudera raised his head and decided that he would just have to get more pills, and maybe something to eat. Getting up he took his wallet from the table and started walking to the door when suddenly he felt faint, so faint that it was hard to keep his eyes open. Grabbing support from first thing that came in hand Gokudera dropped to his knees and tried to keep his eyes open, or trying to see straight. Hell no he was going to pass out now. Pushing himself to his feet Gokudera reached for the door handle. Just few centimetres away he collapsed back to his knees. _Fuck_! After few seconds of trying to keep awake he gave up and dropped to the floor, instantly losing his consciousness.

* * *

I'm so sorry it took so long to update! but it's done and.. well I can't say I'm exactly proud of this, BUT it's done xD There might be some errors in the writing but I think that I checked it so that there shouldn't be. Oh and I'm pretty sure that there are few sentences that are.. uh.. I don't know... Well lets just say that I got tired of trying to fix them and leaved them be.. So what did you think? PLEASE review!!!

This was about Gokudera again, not much of Hibari. And Tsuna was in this chapter YAY :D But in the next chapter there will be Hibari, and someone else.. and the action starts!! (NOT) xD oh gay I guess I will stop now and go writing the next chapter, or at least try to. I will probably be watching Nabari no Ou.. I have only three episodes left! *cries*

See you next time^^


	4. Hospital

I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER!! I thought that I had lots of time to write this and just moved the writing to next day and to the next day and next... Then I noticed that it had been over a week and I hadn't written anything! Okay well I was writing other stuff but still! I kicked myself in the ass and decided to write it AND you know what!? I actually wrote it :D I'm so happy~~ Well this is going to be from Hibari's POV, thought it changes to other in the middle of the chapter and then back to Hibari but yeah.. Well I will shut up and let you read now :D

* * *

Yawning Hibari shut the TV and threw the remote control to the couch. He was bored, extremely bored. He had woken up just a few hours ago and was surprised to notice that he hadn't woken up when Gokudera had leaved. Maybe he had been just really tired… He hadn't eaten anything, since there really wasn't anything he could eat, then he had taken a bath and despite it being his day off he dressed in his usual working clothes. Somehow he didn't feel like wearing something more _comfortable_.

Noticing Hi-bird flying his way, Hibari lifted his left arm for the bird to land on. "Boring~" The bird sang and stared at its owner in the eyes, as to tell him to do something. They were both bored, Hibari knew but he didn't have anything to do for them. And even if he would decide to go to the Vongola mansion, Tsunayoshi would just send him away, or worse, he would order Ryohei to guard him, to make sure that he was keeping a holiday. He definitely didn't want to experience that a second time.

Hi-bird flew of off his hand and started to circle around his head. "Bite to death~!" The bird chirped, now landing on top of his head. Smiling Hibari attempted to get up, but a blur of orange flashed through his eyes and landed on his lap. Hibari stared at a cat which was now intently gazing at Hi-bird. Glaring at the cat Hibari took a hold of its neck and lifted it to his face level. He hated it. It wasn't at all scared of him and was constantly trying to drive him mad. It was just like Hayato, and that enraged him even more. He couldn't get rid of the cat, cause Hayato would probably hate him for the rest of his life, Actually Hibari sometimes felt that the cat was more precious to him that he.

He threw the cat on the floor, making it hiss at him and glare at all might (I'm going to tell my master!) he was sure they communicated somehow. How the hell would he get yelled at always when he had harmed the cat (just little) when Hayato wasn't home. Really it was scary sometimes, and he could swear the cat was always smirking at him when he wouldn't get any. Shoving his thoughts about cat talking boyfriend Hibari got to his feet and headed outside, grabbing his jacket and tonfas on the way. Well at least he could go discipline some herbivores. Maybe he could get his fun too.

"Namimori~." Hibari stopped dead on his tracks and reached for the phone on his pocket. He was about to silence it but stopped after noticing the caller. He had told them not to call him if it wasn't a death situation. He was on a "vacation" they had forced him into and they actually dared to disturb him. "Someone's better be dying." Hibari growled at the phone and started walking again.

"GOKUDERA IS IN HOSPITAL!!" Ryohei yelled and he became to a halt eyes widening at what he had just heard. "I don't know what's wrong with him!" Hibari stared at the phone wide eyed not believing what he had just heard, Hayato in hospital? "Hey! Hibari!?" Ryohei's shout brought him back to world and he put the phone back to his ear, well a good half meter away for the sake of his hearing.

"What hospital?" He asked with a calm voice but was sure it was trembling. What had happened? What was wrong with Hayato? These questions and many other ran through Hibari's head while he walked back to his apartment.

"Dino's one." Ryohei answered and breathed out. "We just arrived here-" Hibari shut the phone after that and got to his car. With trembling hands he restarted the car and drove of from the yard. He didn't care if he broke few speed limits or drove over somebody on his way to the hospital. Only thing he cared was to get as fast as possible to the hospital. To Hayato.

Hibari burst through the front doors of the hospital and walked to the front of the reception table where a blond woman was talking to the phone. She lifted her face and stared wide eyed at him. "Where is Gokudera Hayato?" Hibari asked growling and the woman dropped the phone she had been holding. With a glare she hurriedly started to look for something. A file was brought to the table and the woman opened it.

"Gokudera Hayato is… umm.. It doesn't say where he is staying at." The woman said hesitantly and tensed frantically when Hibari frowned. She stared a paper in front of her, not daring to look at the man in front of him, because if she did.. She would probably pas out from fear. She was shivering already just from the fierce atmosphere the man was emitting. "Um..." She started hesitantly and swallowed. "I can call to- to the doctor wh- who's tending him." She finished and hurriedly picked the phone she had dropped. She blinked after looking up the doctor's name.

"I'm not intending to stand here all this day." Hibari growled in warning and the woman almost dropped the phone again. She started to dial the numbers at rabid speed and waited for someone to answer. After a while someone did answer and the nurse started to speak with a speed that no one would get any sense. The woman stared at the table and occasionally glanced at Hibari and instantly stared at the table since Hibari was staring at her sharply at the whole time.

Once again the nurse brought her eyed to Hibari but didn't avert them instantly, instead in loss of words she handed the phone to him with shaking hands. Hibari took the phone and looked at the number. Not really a surprise… "Where is he?" He asked and heard a sigh from the other end of the phone.

"We are on the second floor. You will see us when you get to here." Hibari didn't bother to reply with more than a grunt and threw the phone to the nurse, who got it with a pit of stumbling. He headed for the stairs, never having been a friend of the elevators. In the end of the stairs he had to stop for a while, to try to calm down. His heart was racing, not from running the stairs in record speed but from the thought of Hayato- his lips pursed in a thin line as he glared at the door in front of him.

"HIBARI!" Ryohei yelled as the said man stepped in their view and grunted at the loud shout. And the grouping, why they were all here? Surprisingly Yamamoto wasn't present; usually the ever smiling Rain Guardian would be in Hayato's side instantly if something happened to him. It was quite irritating, cause Hibari was rather possessive and jealous – not that he ever would admit it – of Hayato. He knew that Yamamoto had had some kind of crush on _his_ Hayato, actually he was sure he still had. And what was even more irritating was that Yamamoto has the nerve to show his affection on his _best friend_. Oh how he would gladly bite the man to death. That would solve _all_ of his problems. Well most of them… Okay about a quarter of his problems. The remaining problems include very much Mukuro only.

Sighing he moved the hand of off his shoulder and glared at the boxer. He walked to the others where they were waiting and stared at the blond man. Dino let out a breath and motioned Hibari to sit, which was obviously a futile gesture. "I have already told others part of Gokudera's condition. We can go somewhere more private to talk if you want." He said gently and waited for Hibari to answer before moving, to his – and all the others – surprise he sat down and shut his eyes. Dino himself stayed where he was standing and cleared his throat. "Apparently he fainted, and with how his body is, it's not surprising. It seems that he haven't eaten for a day or two, I don't know how much he has gotten sleep lately but according to Tsuna he looked really tired this morning. I believe it may be because he is stressed, but we have to wait for him to wake up for questioning." Dino said and waited for Hibari to say something.

"Gokudera said something about a fight between him and Yamamoto, but he said that it wasn't anything big. Though he said that he needed few days so that he could think in peace… I don't think that a fight between them would affect him this much..." Tsuna trailed of and fell silent his eyebrows furrowing slightly.

"Maybe they had an extreme fight!" Ryohei suggested. "But what could be so bad that he passed out from exhaustion." He too fell silent and seemed to think for awhile. "Or maybe it hasn't got anything to do with their fight!" He exclaimed and snapped Tsuna from his thoughts.

"That could be possible. He is always pushing himself, but... I don't know, could it be that he is stressed about the Family." Tsuna said and looked others at askance.

"He probably forgot to eat and sleep because he was too focused on trying to please Tsuna." Lambo scoffed and glared at the wall. Tsuna would have said that it was rude to talk like that but the fact that Lambo was glaring at the wall was because he was holding back tears that threatened to fall. Tsuna just ruffled his youngest Guardian's hair while Chrome had stood up from her spot.

"I'm happy that Gokudera is not in a big danger, Mukuro-sama sends his regards too, but I will have to leave now." She said in a kind voice and a little smile on her lips as Tsuna turned to her.

"Thank him for me. I will see you in the mansion- oh if you see Yamamoto could you tell him about Gokudera? He didn't answer his phone when I called…" Tsuna said with a smile too and waved at the girl that walked away after giving her Boss a nod. Tsuna turned to Dino who coughed to his hand.

"Gokudera won't wake till tomorrow so it would be best for you to leave for now and come back tomorrow morning." The blond said and lifted his finger to Tsuna who was about to complain. "No you can't sleep here, even if you have the power to make that possible." Dino said in a serious face and ignored Tsuna who was glaring at him. "There is a little restaurant at the other side of the street, you and Lambo should go eat something. I assume you haven't eaten since morning." Tsuna gave him a sheepish smile and got to his feet.

"That's a good idea, let's go Lambo." He grinned and pulled the teen up from where he was sulking. "Come on, It's my treat. You can eat as much as you like!" Tsuna grinned at the little smile that was forming on Lambo's lips. "I will come check him later but call me if anything happens." he turned to Dino with a worried glance and got a smile as an answer. Then he turned to Hibari and gave him a little smile while the Cloud Guardian glared at them.

After the two were gone Dino sighed and walked to sit next to Hibari. "It's nothing serious, at least I hope so but I don't see any other reason for his collapse than exhaustion." Dino said and put a hand on his former students shoulder. "He is going to be fine so don't worry." He smiled and turned to look at the wall in the opposite side of the hall. "Though there is one thing that bothers me…" He let the smile vanish and a frown came to his face. "His smoking. I don't think that it is the cause but… just to be sure I'm going to do few testes. Even if it might be pointless but I don't want to-"

"Can I see him?" Hibari asked first time actually looking at Dino. The blonde let his eyes soften before he nodded and got up, heading to the room where Gokudera was staying. He waited for Hibari before opening the door and smiling for him, which received a glare from the other. Once they were both inside Dino leaned on the door and waited for Hibari to sit next to Gokudera's bed. "I heard you came back yesterday. You.. Did he act weirdly? Even if it's little it might help." He asked in a soft voice and stared at Hibari for a moment.

"I thought he was just tired but he was acting little weird." Hibari answered after a long silence, well it seemed long to him. "I couldn't find my keys and knocked on the door. He opened it but.. didn't say anything. Or yell." Sighing he relaxed in to the chair and shut his eyes. "I was tired, how the hell was I supposed to notice something was wrong." He knew he sounded desperate but hell, he didn't know what to do.

"Don't blame yourself, it might have nothing to do with you." Dino said and straightened himself. "I have to go now but if you want to talk you know where to find me." He said and opened the door without waiting for a reply; he knew he wasn't going to get one. Just when he was about to close the door he smiled and glanced at Hibari for the last time before shutting it. "Don't be too long there."

After minute or so had passed Hibari opened his eyes and gazed at Hayato. He did look rather exhausted, he had noticed that in the night but hadn't thought about it much. His face was much paler than usual, he could see the bangs under his eyes clearly and- maybe he was just imagining but it looked like he had loosed some weight. Why? Why had he gotten in to this state? What had caused it? He knew that just thinking at them didn't make the answers pop up on his head. Smiling he got up and placed a kiss on Hayato's lips before heading out. He was going to get answers, whether others liked it or not.

* * *

Okay.. First of all I don't like this chapter really much.. and I think I rushed it a little (sigh). But what did you think? Seriously reviews motivates me :D Well the good ones xD And I was able to finish this thanks to Bella. Thank you so much for cheering me! Yay I got Lambo in this one xDD thought there really wasn't much of him. And Dino! Oh and Ryohei too :D

Other than them, there really wasn't anything interesting in this chapter, but the next will have some exciting revelations!! There still wasn't much of 1859 but I promise there will be.. in some future... xDD Well I hope so :D Anyway.. I don't know maybe I will go now from bothering you. REVIEW!! I will pat you on the head if you do xDD Bye~~


	5. Revelations

I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN ALMOST A YEAR T_T /Breaths in/ FORGIVE ME! /Falls to the floor/ I'm so sorry! /Bows/ I beg for your forgiveness. I'm- /Gets kicked/ _Get yourself in control, you look pathetic._ L-Luka?! W-wha- How-? WHAT? _Shut up._ Hey! What are yomph-!

_Now that that is out of the way… After a long, far too long time she actually got this finished. I am going to be completely honest. It could be better. But it is not completely a worthless piece of __crap. Also, there is a revelation NO ONE could have seen coming. But of course, with that one revelation she got herself deep into a biggest shithole ever been created. I could care shit really where this is going, as long as she finishes it._

_Now, after a long wait, I suggest you re-read the previous chapters. Or considering how crappy they are, don't. Yes, yes, she is sorry now get to reading._

* * *

Gokudera was feeling fairly well. It might be because he had slept nineteen hours straight and felt better than ever. If only that was the case. He didn't feel exactly good. _Shit_ would be more fitting to describe his condition right now. Adding all that had happened recently with the information that he wasn't going to get out of the hospital for few more days – when there was nothing wrong with him – he felt like sleeping for the rest of his life. And he was laying in a bed already.

He would have slept too, if not for one huge factor distracting him at the time. "He has been extremely down these two days." Ryohei explained while slicing an apple into small enough pieces for him. "Yesterday he spent the whole day in his room and said he wouldn't come out till you were awake."

"Tch. Of course stupid cow has been doing nothing but brooding." Gokudera snorted, not really wanting to think about him right now. He knew he had to apologize to the kid at some point for worrying him, but that wasn't going to happen in a while.

"You can't really blame him." Ryohei pointedly didn't look into Gokudera's eyes. "You got us all worried for a while there." He said around eating a slice of apple.

"Well I'm fine." He glared at the boxer and tried not to snarl when the man didn't seem to react anyway to what he had just said. Either he was pissing him of on purpose or was thinking something incredibly stupid about this situation he was in.

"Doesn't seem like it if you have to be in hospital." Ryohei threw him a pointed look while on the other hand looked almost jaded.

This time he did snarl. "It's not like I need to be in here. That fucking blond just wants to do some freaking tests and the Tenth thought it might be a good idea. I'm only staying here because it's an order."

"And why are you here in the first place?" The boxer snapped instantly.

Gokudera glared at the man, knowing it didn't really matter whether or not he told a lie. He would figure it out at some point anyway. "Too much working. Stressing over Family business and things in general. Having to see your faces every single goddamn day. Fuck if I know." It was half the truth.

Ryohei grimaced. He glared at the apple in his hands before turning slowly to place it on the table next to the bed with the knife. He didn't turn back however, but continued to glare at the table while his mood seemed to darken. Gokudera decided to ignore him and was just about to turn completely away from the boxer when he heard a sigh.

"Don't start this again."

Gokudera blinked. "What?"

"Not eating.. sleeping.. and lying." Ryohei said with a frown.

Gokudera blinked, twice. "What the hell are you trying to say?" He growled at the boxer with rising alarms ringing in his head.

"I'm saying that don't start this again. Back when we were in Namimori-"

"That's a completely different thing!" Gokudera shouted furiously. He couldn't believe that lawn head actually brought up _that_ subject. How many years has it been?

"No it's not!" Ryohei exclaimed right back at him. "Now it's only Hibari instead of _him_."

He stared at the man like he had grown a second head. "Wha- That doesn't make any sense lawn head." Gokudera could only continue to stare at the other. "How it's same now. How it's same with Kyouya?"

"You really can't see it?" Ryohei was the one to stare now. "Hibari is barely home anymore. Last month he was only in Italy for five days. Two of which he was working." He casted a pointed look at Gokudera while saying this. "I thought you would notice at least that."

Gokudera waved it of while covering a painful look on his face. "Yeah, but that still doesn't explain how this is supposedly related to _that_."

"Did you hit your head? Seriously, have you counted the days you have spent together in the last _year_? Not counting the ones that you spent on work." Ryohei stared sharply at the now silent Storm Guardian, showing him that he knew exactly how many days.

Gokudera's eye twitched. "No. I don't know. What the hell does it matter, it's not like I have to be with him in every waking second of my life."

"Forty seven."

Gokudera shut his mouth in a thin line. Of course he had known the answer. After all he had spent his days by counting the _hours_ when Hibari was away. It's not like he needed a reminder. Besides.. "It's forty two days."

Ryohei grimaced. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, that did make me feel _so_ much better." Gokudera replied by rolling his eyes. It looked like he was rolling his eyes but in reality he had to stop his eyes from watering.

"Don't let yourself fall again." Ryohei murmured. "I don't think I could endure something like that anymore."

Gokudera blinked once again. "I-" He stuttered. Then he scowled. "I'm fine. I just forgot to eat and worked overnight. For two nights in a row." He knew it was a poor excuse which wasn't actually that much of an excuse.

Ryohei cast him a glare. "Stop lying already." He said surprisingly gently. "You are not fine. Anyone could see that."

"I'm fine." He glared back at the boxer, not convincing him the least. "And I'm not lying."

Ryohei just shake his head before fixing his eyes on Gokudera's. "Say what you want but I don't believe you." He paused, looking slightly unsure, but it was wiped away almost instantly and replaced with a deep frown and whisper. "I already know what happened."

Gokudera stiffened but kept his face. He didn't say anything and turned away from the other to look at the wall. He wasn't thinking how the man could know, he wasn't thinking what he meant by knowing what happened. He was only thinking how the hell the boxer _always_ found out. "I fucked up. I really fucked up this time." His voice was nearly shaking.

"It's not your fault." Ryohei replied softly.

Gokudera turned around with wide eyes. "It is my fault! I-" His voice broke and he lowered his head so that Ryohei couldn't see his eyes. After few long shaky breaths he curled his hands into fists. "Fuck!" It was barely a whisper.

"It's not your fault." Ryohei said firmly this time. "There are only two people who you can blame." At that Gokudera lifted his head slightly, but kept his face still hidden. "First one's Hibari. I know he is a complete asshole towards everyone. Except for few. Like you. But… I don't think it really changed anything in him. He just thinks it's enough if he acts the same like before. But he is more of an asshole for not noticing how he is hurting you by being away."

"I-"

"Shut up and listen. He probably doesn't realize that he's acting like Mukuro. When he was the one to- I don't need to talk about that. I think you understand by now." He paused, letting Gokudera to digest all the things he had just said.

"But, he's not the same as-"

"No, he is not the same. He is better. But in the long run I think he has been doing more damage than patching up." He hated to say this. "It's because you know he is coming back."

Gokudera twitched. He didn't say anything, _couldn't_ say anything. But _God_ how he wanted Ryohei to stop. This conversation really was getting worse by the seconds, and he felt even worse.

"But you keep thinking that someday he wont be back. And when you realize he comes back…" Ryohei left it at that. He knew Gokudera knew what he meant. He knew the Storm Guardian wondered how exactly he knew about all these things. He also knew that he wasn't going to tell Gokudera that he was the one to tell him these things on one night few weeks back when they were out drinking.

"… Ah." Gokudera cracked.

Ryohei thought it would be better if he continued now than letting Gokudera calm down. But this was going to be at least twice as hard. "I know you blame yourself from what happened with Yamamoto." It wasn't much more than a breath of whisper "But no one can blame you. He is more of an asshole than Hibari is. The only thing he cares about is his own damn happiness."

"What?" Gokudera lifted his head in record speed while blinking rapidly.

"I guess you can't see it but he has been always there. You know, in Namimori, during the time you were with Mukuro, during the time you had problems, during the time you.." Ryohei shake his head gently. "He was there even when Hibari saved you. He has been fucking there, by your side, for all these years."

Gokudera blinked, then gaped, then decided to just stare. What the hell was lawn head talking about!?

"You'd think after so many years even he is bound to continue on. But no, he just had to be so fucking stubborn and screw up your life in the one moment he liked." Ryohei growled. "It's his fucking fault you are here. It's Hibari's fault you are here." He had a dangerous look in his eyes as he grunted at what seemed like nothing, but Gokudera was sure it was directed for two people. "If they weren't my friends I would like _very_ much to punch them to hell right now."

Gokudera just stared. His head was spinning awfully fast and his brains were working on overdrive. He could feel something in his head tugging but he promptly ignored it. However he shut his eyes and proceeded to lie on his back while trying not to stop breathing.

"Fucking hell, it's Mukuro's fault too that you are here." Ryohei added angrily. "And all of them actually care about you."

Gokudera opened his eyes. "Yamamoto or Mukuro aren't here!"

"Neither is Hibari." Ryohei shut his mouth. He knew he shouldn't have said that.

"Get out." Gokudera grumbled. Ryohei just sat calmly on the chair. "Get out!" He shouted while turning his back at the boxer, and facing the opposite wall. He cursed while trying desperately to hold back the tears.

Ryohei watched as Gokudera started shaking and grimaced. He knew that the other would most likely start crying. But he still wasn't prepared for it, nor did he like it since he was the one to make him cry this time. He got up from the chair and walked on the other side of the bed where he crouched slightly over the other. "Hayato-"

The Storm Guardian lashed his arm towards the man but the boxer didn't dodge it like he had thought. The fist connected right at his jaw but he didn't waver one bit, due to the lack of strength of the punch. Gokudera just stared as the other glared at him with dozens of emotions raging in his eyes. Before either of them could register what happened, Gokudera was crying full force and sobbing against Ryohei's shoulder while the boxer was trying to soothe the other.

* * *

IT'S DONE!

I feel like crying. For several reasons. One being that I actually got this done. One that it took so damn long. One that I totally am burying myself in shit. One that I did not intent to mess Ryohei in this. One that I definitely did not intent to mess another story into this. One that I kind of am making Hibari an asshole. One that I made Yamamoto into a greater asshole. One that the situation is still not exactly explained. One that I almost wrote this chapter from Yamamoto's POV, but didn't. One that I seriously don't want to write the next chapter. One that I can't write. One that I'm fucking tired.

Now, I think I made a huge mistake by writing this chapter as it came out. Because, Mukuro. All that Ryohei is talking about Gokudera doing this again and Mukuro and… It's from another story which happened way before this. Now, you are asking when I can get the story published in here. Never. That's what it looks like right now. I have written it about 14 pages , in FINNISH, and have to translate it and do some dramatical changes, because I had to be smart enough to get it mixed with this one. I sometimes admire my ability to make my life even more of a hell than it already is.

Gah. Now thought, since you have been so kind to comment me and ask/plead/tell me to continue, I am in a nice enough mood to reply to some of your reviews. Actually, I think it's the least you have deserved.

**ranchan-akari: **You lucky one xD I snicker a lot when I see any number related to KHR :D What happened to Gokudera.. Indeed. About their relationship.. Still not clear image of it, but getting there.. OMG, seriously xD The cat was fun to write. Oh, you have no idea what Hibari will be getting himself.. actually.. he doesn't- never mind xD

**Memory: **I feel sorry for him too D: That is a good idea. I was thinking it at some point but decided not to use it in this. Since I have so many things still planned and it would have ended rather quickly.. But I might use that idea on some other story.. Anyway, thank you for being one of those who kept me going with this one^^

**Enski: **So many questions indeed xD But I can't answer them, it would blow up every little surprise :D Hibari.. Of course anyone would be happy to see him biting someone to death xD I try, I try.

**20eKUraN09: **The hell is up with that name? xD Hard to remember. Anyway, thank you, I'm so happy you like this! Ah questions, questions.. you just have to wait and see like anyone else :D I LOVE this pairing, and at the beginning when I fell for it, there were hardly anything to find from them. Now thought there is at least something.. Unlike X59 T_T There's one story of them. If you don't count my- Oops. I didn't say anything.

**PlainGame: **/I have no idea why I can't write your name like it is../ Ooh, that's nice xD Or is it? I know everyone has guesses what happened and.. yeah. They are not exactly wrong. If Hibari was in character, he wouldn't be with anyone. But in this, he has been with Gokudera for.. years. Many years. So for them to actually make it work, both of them has forced to do some sacrifices. I should seriously shut up.

**Finalay: **You have no idea how long your comment made me think and think and think what to write in this chapter. I started writing first from Yamamoto's POV, but it just wouldn't work out. It would have been bloody.

**Shinrin94-XIII: **Y-you.. like this chapter O_O /Hides/ I know there are mistakes.. I should get a beta.. Would anyone be willing to accept the job? Anyhow, that sentence with the 'hiss', I wasn't exactly looking for a 'growl' but.. it would have worked too. The other one is a little complicated. You see, I wasn't intending to write it like.. Well, 'He's smoking', but as Dino referring TO His smoking. English isn't my native language so.. yeah. YOU RE-READ THE CHAPTER!? Are you completely out of your mind? No, I'm really happy to hear that.

**th****PeekaBoo: **He is.. somewhere. Can't say anything yet. Yes, Dino made an appearance :D Wah, 'nice' is way too.. uh. You are too nice. What happened.. well, yeah. Yamamoto happened.

That's all for now. Please tell what you though about this, I seriously need to know are you liking the direction this story is taking – this story HAS a direction? – and do you want to see more.. what? I don't know. Mukuro? Ryohei? Yamamoto? Fluff? – at this point rather impossible. Angst? I know everyone wants to have some things explained but I can't reveal everything. Also, Ryohei is only Gokudera's friend in this. A very good one if I might say. Mukuro is… nothing at this moment. Nothing more than I know. Yamamoto is.. I didn't want to turn him into something he isn't but.. I think it was the only solution at this moment. And Hibari… I kind of rolled the fault into their shoulders. Gokudera has been in for a lot of shit. For once I started feeling bad for everything I had done to him.

Is there ever going to be 1859? I know there will be _something_. 8059? I'm not sure if I should say anything… 6959? No. Unless you want there to be. And, I, might want your help… What would you like to happen in this? What would you like to see? Hell, I'm open for everything now as I don't have any idea what to do. Well, I have few ideas but… None something I want to write right now.

Halloween is in two days! AAHHHH! Can't wait. I have a.. well, not a costume but something nice :3 So, you could probably consider this to be updated for halloween, I would have updated it too then, but can't wait anymore.

Ah, before I forget, go to my profile to vote for what story I should continue, or choose from three other choices. I would be forever thankful to you if you did that. Gotta go now, to write – or at least try – the second chapter of Avanzare. Fucking Yamamoto keeps getting even on my nerves… in a strange way. He's just creepy. My fault really.

Seriously, I talk too much. Write. Whatever. And this is actually a second update this day O_O Two updates in a day?! /Le Gasp/ Well the other one is shitty lil drabble of Soul Eater… Do Not Read It.

Holy shit, these notes are turning out to be longer than the actual story.

Until next time~

And remember, reviews are what keep me going :)


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